Haley Heynderickx Complete Lyrics Archive

B i o g r a p h y
(by official press)

To Oregon songwriter Haley Heynderickx, a seed represents incubation and the process of navigating the darkest, deepest parts of ourselves before becoming realized. It is a process of turning inward, listening and noticing, and trusting one can create something honest and true despite all the constant noise around us—whether that’s the news, social media, or our own self-doubt. Where Heynderickx’s debut album I Need to Start a Garden was about self-actualization and the excavation of the soul, her new album Seed of a Seed is now about protecting it. Heynderickx’s answer is by going inwards, requiring a brave solitude, while also acknowledging that it’s not done alone. This album nods to the necessary helpers along the way—from flowers (“Gemini”) and daydreams (“Foxglove”) to forests (“Redwoods (Anxious God)”) and friends (“Jerry's Song”). Seed of a Seed is an album that honors these helpers – and the self – and the process of fighting upward toward the light. The album’s opening track “Gemini” thrums like a warning that every excuse you might make—to not stay with a feeling, to not make room for it—will not hold. It tears through vignettes of the often exhausting dual-life of a heavily touring artist, while her former self chases her, and shames her, for ignoring her. The past confronts the present, two cowboys ready to duel. Finally, the woman takes control, and forces Heynderickx to stop and pull over “just to stare at purple clover off the highway / And see the clover as a gift / A gift I almost missed / You know I finally begin to feel better.” And with that, the drums kick in, the album gives way—or rather—gives into itself, and everything rushes in.

On Seed of a Seed, Heynderickx’s signature intricate finger-picking is hemmed into a lush, living tapestry created with producer Andrew Stonestreet and what she calls her “core jazz boy band”: Daniel Rossi on drums, Denzel Mendoza on trombone, and Matthew Holmes on electric and upright bass. It’s a group she first worked in hopes of exploring her songs with a wider freedom of expression. Later, they added electric guitarist William Seiji Marsh and cellist Caleigh Drane to lift the melodies even higher. The result is a complex forest of sound, and if you imagine all the instruments as the layered leaves, Heynderickx’s voice is the light filtering through them—gentle, tender, and clear. Seed of a Seed also explores how distant we can feel from nature and ourselves in a world of technology, overconsumption, and consumerism. In “Mouth of a Flower”, Heynderickx sings about the fish-eat-fish world we live in and the human tendency to “take, take, take.” In “Redwoods (Anxious God)”, she longs to hear the Redwoods and to sing with the birds, but “now the only man here’s cellphone ring ring rings.” We are not just drowning out our own voices, but the important voices of those around us. And even if we were to sing for ourselves, how do we find room and space for it? In “Jerry’s Song”, Heynderickx wonders, “Were we troubadours / Stuck in traffic?”, while the album asks, “How do we create in a congested, noisy world?”. This album doesn’t give you easy answers. Heynderickx’s journey is not a linear one. A theme that persists across both albums is that Heynderickx is still building herself. She is still growing and changing, and her songs invite us to notice that in ourselves, as well. She admits, "The irony is I'll still be asking these questions; I'm not on the other side of it." Seed of a Seed is almost like a note-to-self to move on her timeline, at her own pace, and to surface only when she’s ready and rested. That is, it’s both a reminder and a permission slip to go away in order to return.

In album closer “Swoop”, Heynderickx repeats twice, “There’s an artistry to going away.” Where the record began with a pulsing urgency, “Swoop” finds Heynderickx in a more steady landscape—having finally found her voice again—where her former and present selves are more at peace. It is the peace of sunlight warming her hands, the vibrating air of a hummingbird flitting just out of sight. It is a seed—a purple clover—sprouting out of the loamy soil, not in a garden, but from within a whole forest.

I Need To Start A Garden

No Face

Face me
Face me entirely
Tell me
Tell me what's wrong here
Is it the bridge of my nose
Or the backs of my skin
Is it the pull of my hips
That you couldn't let in

Is it the bridge between worlds
That makes you feel alone
Well I wish that I had known
You're alone
Well I wish that I had known

Is it the bridge of my hair
Or the back of my skin
Is it the weight in the room
That you couldn't hold in

Is it the bridge between worlds
That makes you feel alone
Well I wish that I had

The Bug Collector

And there's a centipede
Naked in your bedroom
Oh, and you swear to God
The fucker's out to get you

And I digress
'Cause I must make you the perfect morning
I try my best
To scoop the slugger out the window

And there's a praying mantis
Prancing on your bathtub
And you swear it's a priest
From a past life out to getcha

And I digress
'Cause I must make you the perfect evening
I try my best
To put the priest inside a jam jar

And there's a millipede
Angry on your carpet
Oh, and I must admit
He's staring with a vengeance

Oh, and I digress
'Cause I must make you the perfect morning
And I try my best
To prove that nothing's out to get you
To prove that nothing's out to get you

Jo

Joan
You are alone
Your kindness
The sweetest that I've ever known
Like honeycomb
Holding the bee in the folds

Be good
Be good or be gone
Oh I slept like a baby
With you in my arms
Oh I slept like a baby
With you in my arms
Out of harm

Be well
Bring our upsells
And you tended your garden
Like heaven and hell
And you built the birds' houses
To see if it helped at all

And be known
Lover of song
And I still watch the fig tree
You planted all grow
And it's fruit is the sweetest
That I've ever known

Like honeycomb
Holding the bee in the folds
Like honeycomb
Holding the bee in the folds
Like honeycomb
Holding the bee in the folds

Worth It

Everyone is ready for their outline
Everyone is ready for their call
Maybe I, maybe I've been selfish for these sounds
Finally I'm ready for the silence
Finally I'm out of this cloud
Maybe I, maybe I've been selfish all along
I guess you should know that
That I don't need you there
But I need you sometimes
But not all the time, no
I need you there
I need you there

So you're waiting on the coastline
Waiting for the right sign
Waiting for the opportunity to hit you right
So put me in a line
Add another line
Soon you'll have a box
And you can put me inside
Put me in a box, boy
Put me in a box
Put me in a box and call me anything you want, boy
Put me in a line, boy
Put me in a line
Put me in a morning and put my feelings into life
Put me in a box, boy
Put me in a box
Put me in a box and call me anything you want, boy
Put me in a line, boy
Put me in a line
Put me in a morning and put my feelings into life
And anything goes
Anything you want
And anything goes
Anything you want, you want, you want, you want

Everyone is ready for their outline
Everyone is ready for their call
Maybe I, maybe I've been selfish all along
Finally I'm ready for the silence
Finally I'm ready for nothing
Maybe I, maybe I've been selfish
Maybe I, maybe I've been selfless
Maybe I, maybe I've been worthless
Maybe I, maybe I've been worth it
Maybe I, maybe I've been worth it
Maybe I, maybe I've been worth it
Maybe I, maybe I've been worth it

Show You A Body

I am letting you go
I am letting you go
I am letting you go awry

It was more than a race
More than the wind
Chasing the flood
You opened the gate

And fate is a sundress
Ripped at the thigh
Thigh high and safety net
Swarmed by the hornets' nest
To cover my eyes

It was more a mirage
In sickness and health
I showed you a body
Like a cluttered garage

I am humbled by breaking down
I am humbled by breaking down
I am humbled by breaking down
I am humbled by breaking down
Humbled by breaking down
Humbled by breaking down

I am humbled by breaking down
I am humbled by breaking down
I am humbled by breaking down
I am humbled by breaking down
Humbled by breaking down
Humbled by breaking down

Untitled God Song

And maybe my God
Has a trot in her walk
And her coach bags are knock-off
Her shoes are all dressed up
And she spins me around like a marionette
Oh my web is still spinning
My web is still spinning
My web is still spinning
You can't see it yet

Or maybe my God
Has thick hips and big lips
And the buttons she's pressing
She speaks every language
Shift A, right B, Nintendo 63
On her video, baby
The game she's been changing

When you're drunk near a sunset
Look straight in her eyes
She's a quick glimpse of heaven
Forgetting her headlights are on
When you misread her fortune
Don't misread the joke
She's the note on your lampshade
The honeycomb holding you

And she spins me around like a marionette
Oh my web is still spinning
My web is still spinning
My web is still spinning
You can't see it yet

Oom Sha La La

The milk is sour
I've barely been to college
And I've been doubtful
Of all that I have dreamed of
The brink of my existence essentially is a comedy
The gap in my teeth and all that I can cling to

The milk is sour
Sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la

The milk is sour
With olives on my thumbs
And all that I have stuck to and all that I have clung to
I've felt like a dog
This world that I have trusted
Is bent over and busted and rusted by an arbitrary sonogram

Sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la

The milk is sour
With olives on my thumbs
And I've been doubtful
Of all that I have dreamed of
The brink of my existence essentially is a comedy
The gap in my teeth and all that I can cling to

The milk is sour
Sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la

If you don't go outside
Well nothing's gonna happen
She'll never write her number on a crumpled up napkin
She'll never be your ego
She'll never be a bandit
She'll never get to eat you like your heart's a pomegranate

I'm throwing out the milk
The olives got old
I'm tired of my mind getting heavy with mold
I need to start a garden
I need to start a garden
I need to start a garden
I need to start a garden!

Gonna start a garden in my backyard
I'm gonna start a garden in my backyard
'Cause making this song up is just as hard
'Cause making this song up is just as hard

Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Oom sha la la
Oom oom sha la la
Sha la la
Sha la la
Sha la la
Sha la

Drinking Song

There's a light at the end that I know
Where culprits on carpets make sense of it all
And the sky is all indigo
And the young ones just want to go home

And the edge of the world makes it seem
That everyone gone is still singing the same song
And I can believe in these things;
That everyone's singing along
The good and the bad and the gone

And there's a light at the end of a dock
Sending green little postcards to a city I love so much
And the water makes sense of her laugh
And wrinkles the backs of my hands

There's a light at the end where I smoke
And your name puffs in colors with people I know
The song that was stuck in her head
Becomes all the words you forget
And everyone is singing along
The good and the bad and the gone

Among Horses III

Slow Talkin'

Don't be twistin' your inhibition
Don't go drop kick your intuition
You got a notebook, you got a mission
And your voice is getting low

Are you pleasin' or just teasin'
Are you slow walkin' through a season
But the connotations kinda leaving
And nothing's gone to show

If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy, you're gonna have to go
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy, you're gonna have to go

And how the heart drops like a car stops but you left your headlights on
And the blinkers on for maybe ten stops as you make your way through town

People are puzzles, people are planets
Sometimes you get them, sometimes you can't handle it
The back sides of two negative magnets
And maybe to the ground
You know you have to go

Cause if you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy
You're gonna have to go
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy, you're gonna have to go

Was it the glory days or just a heat wave
You got a promise land made of quick sand
You got a slow dancin' praying mantis
Stuck inside this jar
Staring at the wall
And you knows he has to go

Cause if you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy, you're gonna have to go
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy
If you wanna make 'em happy, you're gonna have to go
Go...

Francis

Driving through the darkness
Hungover and carsick
Broken-hearted boy
Yeah that's how it started
With the dead
Asking why you don't confess
Father Saint Francis
Your daddy's in a casket
You hear it in the wind
But you don't want to ask yet
You see it in her mouth
You see it in her hands
You know you got a secret that she'll never understand
And the ghosts
Say what you already know

Yeah you had a place in the kingdom kid
Yeah the pretty people are so easy to forgive
But there's something on your skin that you can't get clean
There's a fawn in the fence that you can't get free
So you're asking everybody who they think they really are
And you feel a little better till the sky goes dark
And the ghosts
Yeah but you already know
Yeah but you already know
Yeah you got nowhere to go
Yeah but you already know

Mother

Born in the east, raised by the west
Torn in between cultural dressings
Both may feel right, but neither feels whole
Mother, I'm torn between two different homes

Land filled with pears, and apricot hues
The lands filled with mangoes and papayas blooming
Each land of women filled with rich story
Mother, I'm stuck between two different mornings

And how dissonant are each of these bridges
And how resonant are each of these feelings though
If neither feels right and neither feels wrong
Mother, my children will speak in different tongues

Mother, I'm shy I can't speak your tongue
Mother, don't cry I've been trying again
Trying to be bold as you were before me
I'm leaving the west, I'm going alone

Little Wind

I might go to Spain
Sleep out with the dogs
Find some empty castle
Put my jacket on a cross
The mice are in the fields
And the ghosts are in the towers
Little wind, I'm with you in the roadside flowers

I might go to town
And drink myself away
Find some singing bird
And try to step inside her cage
I might go to waste
And I might be a coward
Little wind, I'm with you in the roadside flowers

And I wish that I had stayed
In that river house with you
Pulled away the weeds
And let the wild roses bloom
But all the hanging plums
One day will go sour
Little wind I'm with you in the roadside flowers

Don't you want to fly with the highland birds
Don't you want to play in the Catalan dirt
Maybe it's my fault
Or maybe it's my power
Little wind I'm with you in the roadside flowers

The Park

It took hold of me
I saw a grown man crying
I ricocheted the difference as a stranger kindly watching
From a park bench across the street

And it took hold of me
I wonder what this man is borrowing
Has he unlocked the pattern from that well that he's been drawing from
As he dips the shadows unto his feet?

And it took hold of me
Was someone planting him a garden?
Was her hair as long as the streams within a fountain
Pouring light
Into a home he could not keep

Oh how nice to see a pattern broken
When I've never even seen my father weep

So it took hold of me
Was someone planting him a daughter
Was her life as strong as the river pushing water from the sides
And gently out to sea

And it took hold of me
I offer cigarette and lighter
I know it isn't much but if it makes spirits feel higher
We push the smoke out into the street
Into the street
Into the street

Crow Song

I saw the scatterlight streaming
Down through the century trees
Bloodfern and juniper
Sweeteye and shattercane weeds

I saw the cloud from the cabin
Slate rock and teeming with storm
Carrion bird caught in the hearth
And killed by collision with door
Feathers all over the floor

I'll be home where I go
I'll be home wherever I go
I'll be home where I go someday

Buckshot rang out in the distance
Over and over again
River the moon shiver
I saw my sister jump in

And I saw my brother in Dallas
Quietly drunk every day
Gentle and kind and lost in his mind
And surprised when his wife went away

And I saw the killers in costume
And I saw their satellites burn
And I saw them measure their money
In whether they look like the people they hurt
Maybe that's just who we were

I'll be home where I go
I'll be home wherever I go
I'll be home where I go someday

I wake up staggering lonely
Birdsong and particle air
Her letter in my jacket
I carry myself down the stairs

Lena she treated me easy
She found me wherever I was
Bloodfern and juniper
Sweeteye and shattercane
That never felt like enough
That never felt like enough

I'll be home where I go
I'll be home wherever I go
I'll be home where I go someday

I'll be home where I go
I'll be home wherever I go
I'll be home where I go someday

Ragweed

Are you out west in a red jeep
Lying wide awake in the back seat
Are you getting better do you wanna be
Sorry I couldn't see anything

Ragweed bare feet friend of mine bend the reeds
Tell me what you found funny underneath everything
Singing free falling to the cows in ellery
Asking summer people stupid questions where'd you get your jeans
Featherwind coming in annalise imogen
Wondering what she said what she meant what she did
Are we really here forever
Filaree field of heather
Are we getting any better
Are you are you are you in the weeds

Are you in the weeds

Are the walls in the way
Knock them over patti cake
I've been here a real long time
Are you still working at the catseye

All night flicker light make your money kind of season
Say it like you mean it like you need it
Are you using are you dreaming
Are you air are you breathing
Are you fog are you feeling
Are you bored am I preaching
See the sun over us
See the world burning up
It's a story little dove
Waterfowl in the cut
Are you giving up foxglove
Larkspur buttercup
Are you what you're running from
Are you are you are you in the weeds

Are you in the weeds
Are you are you in the weeds
Are you in the weeds

Way down by the Great Lakes
In the weather we know
We were reading litter out loud
Father of the wind
Mother of the ground
Somewhere in another life
Warm air all night
We were getting drunk at the catseye
Father of the shore
Mother of the sky on high
On clotheslines
Fireflies summer sheets
High low hyacinth bulrush cinnamon
Buck shot tree rot blood hound come in hot
You coronate the creatures you can see and take a knee in awe
Ragmaw hoof to haw call it god if you want
We were holding onto something no one ever understood
Call it ours call it good
Truth and beauty all we could
If you're really laughing then you're crying that's the way it goes
Animals skin and bones all together all alone
Are you sweet chicory
Falling rain feeder seed
Are the geese still asleep at your feet
Are you in the weeds

How Does The Horse Go Home

How does the horse go home?
I saw your letter on the porch
How does the horse row along?
I heard our record in the park

Half-sentimental decade of longing
Singing each person we thought we could be
Tippy-toeing past all our wrongings
In some plight of a harmony

When will the wind be worn?
I heard your echo in the park
Now that my horse got home
Forgot we'd written in the bark

Separation slips like a sundial
Meanwhile the shadow of past is a plain
I remember writing songs across you watching
The horses all ride away

Now that my horse got home
I read your letter on the porch
Now that the crow don't crow
I held that letter to my heart
I held your letter to my heart

Seed of a Seed

Gemini

There’s a woman in the corner claiming she is just the former one of me
And I am here just out of context
And this weight that I’ve been leaning and the persons I’m deceiving
And the food that I’ve been eating says I’m processed

And I can lack communication
I can lack coordination
Inside my awkward occupations like a fortress

And then she spits unto the ground
She says we’ll all just figure out
If she is me
If I am her
It’s just a process

And all the texts that I’ve avoided
All the persons I’ve annoyed
With all my flighty conversations
Out of contest

And the car keys I have locked inside
The dishes I have dropped beside
The useless things I’ve bought for someone’s profit

And there’s a woman in the corner
Claiming she is just the former one of me
And I am her just out of context

And then she kissed me on the mouth
She said we’ll all just figure out if she is me
If I am her
It’s just a process

And when I’ve gone too long without her
And I’m alone and I’m addicted to my phone
She cuts the cord she pulls the power

And makes me sit with my baggage
All the haggard things I didn’t want to feel
She peels me back like I’m her cabbage

And there’s a woman in the corner
Who makes me pull the fuck over
Just to stare at purple clover off the highway

And see the clover as a gift
A gift I almost missed
You know I finally begin to feel better

Time you know
Has its stones
You were a boulder then
You’re in my pocket now

Time you know
Has its stones
You were a ghost back then
I can see you now
I can honor you now

Foxglove

Tell me truly what is your dream
Tell me truly, is it the city life

When I take a foxglove
And I twirl it all around
And I feel next to you
On the fair ground

Oh daydream die slow
Oh daydream die slow

We grow tired over the days
We grow tired over and overthinking

When I take a foxglove
And I twirl it all around
And I feel next to you
On the bare ground

Oh daydream die slow
Oh daydream die slow
Oh daydream die slow
Die slow
Die slow
Die slow

Seed of a Seed

If we don't know better
If we don't know better
Well, did my parents know better
No, but they tried

Cause we all need
A sense of lore sometimes
Like I need
A silent mind
In a consumer flood

And if I'm lucky
Maybe a glass of wine
And if I'm lucky
Maybe a hand next to mine

No
If we don't know
Better, no, will we try

If I get lucky
Maybe a simple life
If I get lucky
Maybe some free time

No
If we don't know better
If we don't know better

Well, did my parents' parents know better better
No, but they tried

Mouth of a Flower

The mouth of a flower
The hummingbird waits
Guarding his morsel
As he takes and he takes and he takes

The muscle underwater
The seagulls split
The tide running after
Cause it takes and it takes and it takes

And we take and we take
And we take and we take take take

The huckleberry climber
The soul of a log
Climbing the church walls
To the golden core

And the worry of a mother
The creaking of a gate
Do ghosts get hungry
Cause they take and they take and they take

And we take and we take
And we take and we take take take

And the life of a father
King Solomon unlived
Lived out through his daughter
To the golden core

The muscle underwater
The algae in bloom
And what more could he offer
What more to do

The mouth of a flower
The hummingbird waits
Guarding her morsel
As she takes and she takes and she takes

And we take and we take and we take
And we take and we take and we take
And we take and we take and we take
And we take and we take take take

Spit in the Sink

Something’s telling me you can’t be alone
While Bobby’s kicking around his rolling stone
Spit in the sink defines our lovers
Better than me to decide what’s better

Cause everyone around me is getting tired
And everyone around me is trying to write
Spit in the sink defines our lovers
Better than me to decide what’s better

Redwoods (Anxious God)

My god, my ancient god
Well, I couldn’t believe what the water had told me
That man and plant had used to talk
Man, I’d do anything to hear the Redwoods talk

And my god, my ancient God
Well, I couldn’t believe what the walnut tree and nettle leaf told me
That man and bird had used to sing
Well, now the only man here’s cell phone ring ring rings

Hands on hips
Hummingbird clicks of Louis
Just trying to relay
“Can a soul be saved
By just moving to the forest with no skillset”

Well, not yet

But my god, my ancient god
Well, I couldn’t believe what the pebble in the little brown stream had told me
That humankind is getting lost
Not even little bugs want to talk with us, us, us

Hands on hips
Hummingbird clicks of Louis
Just trying to relay
“Can a soul be saved
By just moving to the forest with no skillset”

I wanna bet you
Cause my god, my ancient God
Well, I couldn’t believe what the day had shown me

But you dragged me home before it got dark
Man, I’d do anything to hear the Redwoods talk

Ayan's Song

Step inside the edge of my car
Open the door, there is the hallway
And when you step inside, no one will catch you
Open the blinds, no one’s around you

But oh how sweet is the daylight
When no one is around
You take the soft road
And you face the world like
Someone is asking you to grow

But oh how sweet is the daylight
When no one is around
You take the soft road
And you face the world like
Someone is asking you to grow

Sorry Fahey

You don’t even notice
Maybe to be an adult
To know your body keeps score
Is when you start to appreciate
Start to really appreciate

Your old bed
Your old couch
Your old black cat
Whose an asshole
Your own waistline
The ol’ coastline
And the kettle
Making you tea
Ginger

You don’t mind it
Maybe you never find it
But then

Sometimes, somewhere
It starts to make sense
Maybe to be an adult
To know your body keeps score
Is when you start to appreciate
Start to really appreciate

That you could call your Pa
Or a friend
And not bail on
The thing next Tuesday
Cause it’s a new day
It’s an offering
It’s a kettle
Making you tea
Ginger

Jerry's Song

You are true blue
You’re the sweet dew
And you're the gifts that your mother had wished of you
And you stand as the only man to laugh at Poseidon

You are limestone
I am clay
I’ll break you down far more though either way
And now we stand on the finest sands
On the coast of Ireland
Where I’d watch you die again
Die again, die again, die again

Were we troubadours
Stuck in traffic
Twenty-one thousand miles we put in the basket
And to drive across divided America while still splitting a sandwich

You are limestone
I am clay
I’ll break you down far more though either way
From the ghost of Montreal
And the murderer in Belfast
We’d watch the wave crest
And dry again, try again, try again

Swoop

Once
Once that the chain it has broke
It rises and falls
Brave
Brave was the girl who moved from Hong Kong

For her voice was returning
The mind begins burning to know
What’s beyond today
Cause there’s an artistry to going away

Plump
Plump was the child she would grow
And a know-it-all it’s true
Strange
Strange from the times we would know
As the cell phone

Well, don’t tempt me with longing
Don’t tempt me with marketing
I won’t buy it today
Cause there’s an artistry in the day to day to day to day

Swoop
Swoop go the swallows above
My grandmother’s grave
Sweet
Sweet is the peace that I feel
In the North Plains
For the soil is returning
My mind begins burning to know what’s beyond today

Is there an artistry to feeling this way
Is there an artistry in the day to day to day to day
And there’s an artistry to going away

NON ALBUMS TRACKS

Big Ol' Miyazaki Tears

(Live)

If you were clay and I am silt
I'm built on weak deposits as the ocean fills me
Push and pull the break of the dawn
If only I could hold it in a small clay pot

And solitude they treat you well
Until they burn you down
And the dreaded voices tell you
All your faults in small clay pots
I've dropped them all around you as picked them up

And hold my hand
And hold my hand
And hold my hand
And hold my hand

It's back it's back the demons on my back
You knock them off so gently like they're bowling pins or cobwebs
It's fine it's fine
You whispered instead and held my hands so gently I could lengthen out my loneliness

And hold my hand
And hold my hand
And hold my hand
And hold my hand

And I wish that I had known
I wish that I had seen
Wish that I had known how much you'd done for me
And I wish that I had noticed
Wish that I had noticed
I wish that I had known how much you'd done for me

And hold my hand
And hold my hand
You hold my hand
You hold my hand

If you were clay and I am silt
I'm built on weak deposits as the ocean fills me
Push and pull the break of the dawn
If only I could hold it in a small clay pot

Blue Mountains

(Peter Doran Featuring Haley Heynderickx)

I never been to the Blue Mountains but I’ve been there in a song
Never have I loved like this one – it just keeps rolling on
And I never been hit by lightning but I know that life is long
I never been to the Blue Mountains but I’ve been there in a song

And I see the wine and the fire in you
I see the mountains blue

And I never killed a man and I never robbed a train
Never had a deep thought when I’m walking in the rain
And I never lit a holy candle and wished my life would change
I never wished for anything outside this mountain range

And I see the wine and the fire in you
I see the mountains blue

I see us in a cabin underneath the stars
Far away from time love but close to who we are
Nobody can find us – they don’t know where to start
We’re lost in Blue Mountains under golden stars
Golden stars

And I see the wine and the fire in you
And your heart’s a mountain too
And I see the fire in me and you
And in our eyes the mountains blue

Construction At 8AM

(Live)

Sentimental mornings as you
Crawl outside your cave
All the world around you's looking pale

And I hope you don't hold virtue
That the world is out to get you
If your street's just getting paved

And your attitude will constitute
The pants over your legs
And all the laws are drawn out just to fix you

So I don't quite mind
If it is sappy
To ask how you are doing
If you don't mind not lying

Naked and a nuisance
You still lie inside your bed
Wondering what the world outside is wondering about

And I hope you don't hold virtue
That the world is out to get you
That the world is out to get you
That the world is out to get you
That the world is out to get you
That the world is out to get you
While the men in hats get paid

The world isn't out to get you
The world isn't out to get you
The world isn't out to get you
While the men in hats get paid

In orange hats get paid

First I'm Sorry

(Fish Eyes EP)

You had me first
And traced my lips I'm sorry
You held me from the dirt
You had me first I'm sorry
You are not my shelf
To hold up my old self I'm sorry
You need something else
I am not myself I'm sorry

Mother knows I drown in my lies
Father knows I learned my lessons the second time
Ask me where I'll go I'll say I do not know
No I do not know
No I do not know

But you drowned in my waves
And I can tell that you are hurt
Please know I loved you first
Please know I loved you

But you are not my shelf
To hold up my old self I'm sorry
You need something else
I am not my self I'm sorry

Mother knows I drown in my lies
Father knows I learned my lessons the second time
Ask me where I'll go I'll say I do not know
No I do not know
No I do not know

Fish Eyes

(Fish Eyes EP)

Sailor eyes
On my tongue
Who is above you
Oh I don't know
Fill me with
Your breath again
Rebuild me again

Am I down in the river bed this time
Picking fishheads and eating out their eyes
Am I down in the dust

So am I done
Or is my body
Breaking up with me

Am I down in the river bed this time
Picking fishheads and eating out their eyes
Am I down in the dust

Am I down in the river bed this time
Picking fishheads and eating out their eyes
Am I down in the dust

Melanin

How did we get this far
How did we get this far
Melanin, spoiled
Blackberry curls
And my eyes burn
Remembering the Earth is a blood-soaked soil

One By One

(Connie Converse Cover / Live)

We go walking in the dark
We go walking out at night
ut it's not as lovers go
Two by two, to and fro
But it's one by one
One by one in the dark

We go walking out at night
As we wander through the grass
We can hear each other pass
But we're far apart
Far apart in the dark

We go walking out at night
With the grass so dark and tall
We are lost past recall
If the moon is down
And the moon is down

We are walking in the dark
If I had your hand in mine
I could shine
I could shine like the morning sun
Like the morning sun
Like the morning sun
Like the sun

Ride A Pack Of Bees

Look at me
I'm somewhere close to flying
Limbs so light I could ride a pack of bees
Oh my stomach so tight
I could make a rope and climb it
Limbs so light I could ride a pack of bees

Someone told me I'm bad at trying
Reading my looks through a little magazine
Oh my mind is a milkshake dripping in cream
Ego gets bruised like a broken nectarine

Lay me down I'm not too scared of dying
Won't my friends be so envious of me
As the strength in my hands feel like broken rubber bands
Victory sticks like the tongue up to your teeth
To your teeth
To your teeth
To your teeth

Look at me
I'm somewhere close to flying
Limbs so light I could ride a pack of bees
Oh my stomach so tight
I could make a rope and climb it
Limbs so light I could ride a pack of bees

Lay me down I'm not too scared of dying
Won't my friends be so envious of me
As the strength in my hands feel like broken rubber bands
Victory sticks like the tongue up to your teeth

Lay me down I'm not too scared of dying
Won't my friends be so envious of me
As my stomach's so tight
Stomach so tight
Stomach so tight I could make the rope and climb it

Limbs so light
Limbs so light
Limbs so light I could ride a pack of bees

Sane

(Fish Eyes EP)

Why am I frightened if it's all just a game
Why am I frightened if it's all just a game
But the look in your eyes
Oh the look in your eyes
Oh the look in your eyes kept me sane

Why am I childish, oh why can't I make sense
If everything's certain, well I'm certainly offended
But the look in your eyes
Oh the look in your eyes
Oh the look in your eyes kept me sane

And the fault of the gods was letting you out and
Building the bridge with the backs of your eyelids
You never complain
Never complain
You never complain, and the look in your eyes kept me sane

And the fault of the gods was letting you out and
Building the bridge with the backs of your eyelids
You never complain
Never complain
You never complain, and the look in your eyes kept me sane

Thoughts of an Anxious Twenty-Something

I swear I’m grown
But I’m still naked in a-a towel throne
Two o’clock in the afternoon
Two o’clock in the afternoon
I pay my rent
And I like to pray with both my-my elbows bent
At Two o’clock in the afternoon
Two o’clock in the afternoon
But I know what anxious smells like
And it smells like peppermint this time
I know anxiety smells like, it smells like peppermint
It smells like peppermint this time

And I’ve got a job, where I can sit and just twiddle my thumbs
And stare at the clock in the afternoon
And stare at the clock in the afternoon
I swear I’ve learned, I don’t take pictures of myself anymore
My camera's in my living room
My camera's in my living room

I know what anxious smells like
And it smells like peppermint this time
I know anxiety smells, it smells like peppermint
It smells like peppermint this time
I’m tired, I know
But I’m way too young to be feeling this slow, slow
I’m tired, I know
But I’m way too young to be feeling this slow, slow, slow, slow
But I know what anxious smells like
'Cause it smells like peppermint this time
I know anxiety smells like
And it smells like peppermint
It smells like peppermint
It smells like peppermint this time

Tired of Being Quiet

We don't talk about the distance
We don't talk about the hunger
Perhaps since we don't talk they cannot tell we're going under
Perhaps we've been too fearful of not doing what we're told
Oh, it's easy being quiet but it ain't easy being alone

In a land where I'm a stranger
Is a land where I am numb
I cross the streets in shadows to hope the whole world won't find out
That my rights are still translucent, like a sharp wind in the cold
Oh, it's easy being quiet but it ain't easy being alone

I learned that poverty is normal
I learned the language hurts my tongue
I learned that jobs are scarce like cutlery is sharp as hunger to my stomach
My bravery is still nameless, an expressionless expression
Oh, it's easy being quiet but it won't leave much room for questions

When can we learn to live forgiveness
When can my brothers know their names
Will we ever find the balance of sharing land in the same place
I feel the new world slowly bloomin' as the old one starts to mold
Oh, it's easy being quiet but it ain't easy being alone

So go tell your friends and mothers
Tell them you are done
The war's gone long without us using the ammo of our tongues
I see justice in each pea pod and every hand that's gone to feed it
'Cause I'm tired of being quiet
'Cause I'm tired of being quiet
I'm so tired of being quiet
And the soul is not defeated

Untitled Lust Song

I can’t promise not to hold you
When you lay across me like you used to
Though we both agree we’re only talking
We’re in the dark, in the dark, ooh hoo

Well it’s a promise
It’s their fingers on display
When my body’s a statue but my arms are clay
And they just want to wrap around your waist in certain ways
But I can’t and I won’t
It’s just feelings on display
In the dark, in the dark

Untitled Song 1

(Live @ Lunch Concert, Portland State Live Music Series, 2015-10-16)

...about this
Let's say we did everything right
But your figures and fronts
I've always loved 'em
Tangled and raveled like mice

Let's say we're not destined with confession
Let's say there's no truth in the reeds
But I'm feeling we swept
And the carpet's so dense
Protruded like an elephant's teeth

'Cause I need to make space to find rest
Yes, I need to make space to make sense
The sun and the moon as my heirloom cocoon
No, I need to make sense to find rest

So let's say you're the best thing about this
Let's say we did everything right
But your figures and fronts
I've always loved 'em
Tangled and raveled like mice

Untitled Song 2

(Live @ Lunch Concert, Portland State Live Music Series, 2015-10-16)

You made a promise to love her and never let go
You made a promise to love her and never let go
But eternity is a long time to keep your head up
Eternity is a long time to keep your head up

Have you awoken the stranger asleep in your bed
Have you awoken the stranger asleep in your bed
They're not the person you'd thought you had made in your head
They're not the person you'd thought you had made in your head

There's nothing to say
I'm there hopeless wandering your room
I'm there hopeless wander
Hopeless
Hopeless, wander
Hopeless