Tarnation & Paula Frazer Complete Lyrics Archive

B i o g r a p h y
(by Jason Ankeny)

The country art band Tarnation was essentially a vehicle for Paula Frazer, a talented singer and songwriter who returned to roots music only after a successful foray into 1980s post-punk. Frazer was born and raised in Sautee Nacoochee, GA, a tiny community located in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains, where as a child she sang in her father's church choir, developing a remarkably adept soprano. At the age of 14, the Frazers moved to Arkansas, where she began performing with local jazz groups. After graduating high school, Frazer relocated to San Francisco, where she followed a stint in a Bulgarian women's choir with tenures in a number of area punk groups, most notably the all-female Frightwig. In 1992, she formed Tarnation with former S.F. Seals members Lincoln Allen and Michelle Cernuto, along with steel guitarist Matt Sullivan. Setting their dark ballads and love songs against a stark, ominous backdrop dominated by reverb-soaked guitars, Tarnation debuted in 1993 with I'll Give You Something to Cry About. In 1995, they issued Gentle Creatures, their first LP for the arty British label 4AD. Shortly after the record's release, Allen, Cernuto, and Sullivan left the group and were replaced by guitarist Alex Oropeza, drummer Joe Byrnes, and bassist/lap steel player Bill Cuevas.

Gentle Creatures

Game of broken hearts

Is that all there is to a name, a lost and childish heart.
There's nothing you give that's not dangerous or cold.
Is that there is to a game, a game of broken hearts.
There is no easy way to the lesson you must learn.
It seems so easy for you to turn your heart off and on.
It's no matter who is right or who is wrong.
Is that all there is to a face, a bit of sadness there to hide.
Your fears compel you to hide it all inside.
It seems so easy for you to turn your heart off and on,
It's no matter who is right or who is wrong.

Halfway to madness

In the muddy brown water where I wrote your name.
Sadly it tells me that our luck has changed.
When I met you halfway to a place we call madness,
With a rock in my heart, I sank in despair.
In the dusty playground where I first saw your face.
Like a music chair dance, we keep changing our place.
Well there's nothing to hold, in a place we call madness.
Where the water runs cold, then the water runs dry.
How simple things seemed when I just wanted to hold you, hold you.
I listen to a voice of reason while I sleep
It tells me to question all the promises that I keep.
When I met you halfway to a place we call madness,
With a rock in my heart, I sank in despair.
How simple things seemed when I just wanted to hold you, hold you.

The well

I'm waiting, I wait, for the creaking of the gate,
How long, how long must I wait.
I sit, I sit, the weeds gather 'round me,
The wind whips my dress so that I cannot see.
So long, good-bye, to that great moaning sky and I'll cast my heart down the well.
I stare, I stare, and I'm looking over there,
'Cross that ghostly lake where he dwelled.
I look and I see a light burnin' bright,
But I know it doesn't burn for me tonight
So long, good-bye, to that great moaning sky and I'll cast my heart down the well.
Looking down, looking down, to where he once laid,
The birds hovered then took him away.
I rise to my feet and I walk down that road
Where I silently cry when this story is told.
So long, good-bye, to that great moaning sky and I'll cast my heart down the well.

Big O Motel

Down the road sits the Big O Motel,
Where people tell lies in their own private cell.
With cast down eyes and a packaged surprise,
I come and I go we plan it just so.

At the Big O Motel, on the vibrating bed,
Cologne drenched curtains of velour red.
In the smoky glass mirror I look at my face,
But, on the bed beside me someone has taken your place.
By the Big O motel, there's a drive through bar,
They'll make you a daiquiri in a mason jar.
The man at the window with the receding hair line,
Looks away from me but says " same place, same time ".
At the Big O Motel, on the vibrating bed,
Cologne drenched curtains of velour red.
In the smoky glass mirror I look at my face,
But, on the bed beside me someone has taken your place.
The man on the corner with sausage shaped fingers,
After he's gone, his cigar smoke lingers.
After he's gone I take a shower,
I watch the clock's hands passing the hours.

Tell me it's not so

Tell me it's not so, tell me a lie,
Say you won't go, say you won't say goodbye.
Tell me forever and that times they don't change.
Say you're not leaving and that you'll always feel the same.
One smile for the last time, one smile for today,
One smile that the darkness has taken away.
But your smile's just a memory that won't go away
And I'll always remember your smile today.
And I'll always remember your smile for today.

Two wrongs won't make things right

Waiting for the sun to set in your eyes,
Thinking that kind words are just a disguise.
I wonder why you think that I should say good-bye when you know
Two wrongs won't make things right.
There was a time that I remember your happy smile,
Was it last september I went away.
I'm sorry now, but two wrongs won't make things right,
Two wrongs won't make things right.
Someday we'll remember this chance we once had to make things right make things right.
I'm thinking of my words that made you cry,
What can sorry mean when said with the word good-bye.
And though times change one thing remains,
That two wrongs won't make things right.

Lonely lights

There she goes, she's a lonely one,
She wears a strange painted on smile.
She's caught in the middle,
And she's waited for a long, long while.
There she sits half in the shade,
She won't look at any trouble made by that man.
He's the only trouble she understands.
Dancing where the lonely lights are dim,
Holding on to just a memory of him
I tell myself there's no one to blame,
Is it fate? Why we feel the same.
Caught by the middle after waiting for a long, long time
Dancing where the lonely lights are dim,
Holding on tojust a memory of him

Listen to the wind

Listen to the wind, it calls out my name,
It calls with it's wanderin' ways.
Somewhere out yonder kindlin' my flame
Turnin' my tearin' to a blaze.
While I tow the line on this barge of a heart
That'll lead me astray some day, some day.
I'm gonna get me a gun and shoot me someone
If I don't calm my yearnin' heart,
And they'll take me away to an early grave
Before my natural days are done.
While I tow the line on this barge of a heart
That'll lead me astray some day, some day.
While I tow the line on this barge of a heart
That'll lead me astray some day, some day.

The hand

There is a restless weight upon me, in the shape of things to come.
And the wrapped up paper flowers have left my life undone.
What were the words once told to me or the promises left unmet.
And the end to all the simple things that we promised to never forget.
When I felt the hand upon me, I thought I'd shaken all that I could feel.
I don't need someone to tell me that none of it was real.
As I felt the darkness gather and the silence settle there.
And the many faces that surrounded me in the dark and silent air.

Do you fancy me

Do you fancy me, or am I living in make believe?
Am I someone just to pass your time?
To pass lonely hours 'til your heart can be free,
Then you'll forget all about me
Do you think of me,
Or are you a victim of old memories?
Why can't we live for now?
The past is only a sad tragic dream,
Why can't you give your love to me?
Like flowers of springtime there comes a time, when they must wilt away.
Like coldness of winter, with clouds in the sky,
I watch lonely people pass by.
I'll no longer pine for you,
My heart is through with being blue.
Soon you'll turn to find me gone.
Then you'll pass lonely hours,
'Til your heart can be free,
And you'll do all your yearnin' for me.

Yellow birds

The little yellow birds,
Do they cry for me,
Or do they cry with happiness ?
They look down on me with tiny eyes,
Do they see my tears?
They seem to flutter by so carelessly,
Do they hope I have some seeds ?
They land beside me without any fear,
Do they see my tears ?
There is the open sky where a warm breeze blows,
Still the birds stay close by me.
Do they want some hair to make a nest for spring,
Or do they want to dry my tears ?

Burn again

I lost a bit more
Won a little mess
Said good-bye to low
And hello to less
I jacked up the car
And shot at my guest
I rolled it twice
And hoped for the best

On this tree I'll hang my skin
And my skeleton without a shadow
Will glow by the fire

The angel hangs over
The bedstand
With a wide wingspan
He's a guest or a ghost
Of a tall fireman
I guess I lit the curtains again

On this tree I'll hang my skin
And my skeleton without a shadow
Will glow by the fire

I'm tearing the morning
Right out of the dawn
The night is broken
The day is gone
The sky hits me
It's falling fast
My guard is sleeping on
Broken glass

On this tree I'll hang my skin
And my skeleton without a shadow
Will glow by the fire

Stranger in the mirror

Keep your arms open wide love,
'Cause I'm coming home,
I don't know where I am but I don't care,
'Cause I know where I'm going.
I'm going where the voices,
In my head tell me to
I'd walk a thousand crooked miles,
To try to get back to you

Well I'm weary to the bone,
As I wake here alone,
With a pain that won't let me be
And there's a stranger in the mirror,
Staring back at me,
( Oh Lord, could it be, is that me ? )

These hands are shaking in the shadows,
Of the old morning sun
That's dripping through the window pane,
Lord, this feeling is second to none

Well I'm weary to the bone,
As I wake here alone,
With a pain that won't let me be
And there's a stranger in the mirror,
Staring back at me,
( Oh Lord, could it be, is that me ? )

I can almost see your smile,
And I can almost hear your voice
Rising high up above,
The flat land of Illinois

Well I'm weary to the bone,
As I wake here alone,
With a pain that won't let me be
And there's a stranger in the mirror,
Staring back at me,
( Oh Lord, could it be, is that me ? )

It's not easy

You can listen to what I say,
Or you can turn the other way
Don't be kind just to please my heart,
But please don't tear my heart apart.
It's not easy, the world was meant for me to roam,
I'm not crazy, to want to go back home.
Sometimes there's no sun in the sky,
Sometimes the sun gets in my eyes
And then the past is just a game,
And destiny is not to blame
For the reason, the world was meant for me to roam,
I'm not crazy, to want to go back home
Where the gentle creatures roam,
That is the place I call my home
You know I'll miss you when I'm gone,
But I must be moving on.
It's not easy, I never meant to do you wrong,
I'm not crazy, but I must be moving on

Mirador

An awful shade of blue

You've heard these words because they're written on my face
Like they were carved in stone that time cannot erase.
What secrets lie behind an awful shade of blue ?
In a place of reckoning I keep returning to.
And we return back to the place where words belong, in an awful shade of blue.
I sit and listen to an awful shade of blue,
And through the creeping dust that I am listening to
Are the words that I once loved and meant the world to me.
But they are only now a distant memory.
And we return back to a place where words belong, in an awful shade of blue.
There's no sense in cryin', it is only a shade of blue.

Wait

You wait, but the sun has told you lies,
It sits laughing in an empty sky.
There's one thing that I can't do without,
But I can see through those sullen eyes that have turned away from me.
It's wise to say that I don't care
It's wise to say but I don't mean a word.
I'm only asking why must I pretend to not see
Through those sullen eyes that have turned away from me.

A place where I know

There's a place where I know,
We can walk in the flowers and weeds where they grow.
But, I left you back there looking far off with the sun on your hair.
By some strange design I feign to believe that this image was mine.
The shape of your hand in a dream I see a mysterious plan.

Is she lonesome now

Is she lonesome now ? Is she all alone ?
I wonder where that good gal's gone ?
Hear the whistle blow, hear the tracks moan
I hear the train coming home.
Lonesome is the name of the north bound train,
The hills are green she's gone.
Has she made up her mind to leave sorrow behind,
On herway back home?
There is a place where her shining face still smiles.
Does she sing a sad song or is she glad I'm gone ?
I hear her voice laugh in a dream.
How near she seemed when she whispered her sad farewell

Your thoughts and mine

Which way can we go, only the moon casts a shadow.
When we look far below the path is sharp and narrow.
Your thoughts and mine, are far away from this moment, from this moment.
Are the stars very bright in the place where you are sleeping?
Can you hear this song and this song that I am keeping?
Your thoughts and mine, are far away from this moment, from this moment.
And this story it goes as we move along the shadows.
And this story it goes along the sharp and narrow.
Your thoughts and mine, are far away from this moment, from this moment.

Christine

Christine made a little doll and it glowed in the dark.
And it cried out her name, Christine.
Christine lived in a wooden house
Where she made that little doll that glowed in the dark
And cried out her name, Christine.
Christine had to move away because the doll drove her mad
Because it cried out her name
And it cried in the dark, Christine.
Christine left the doll behind
And it sits in a sad room
Where it glows in the dark
And it cries out her name, Christine.

Destiny

There's something I must tell you,
There's one thing you must know :
Green is the color I remember on the hills of long ago.
I was told to be watchful,
I was told to beware.
For something in the way that he spoke showed he didn't care.
Suddenly, things are not as they ought to be and I know that it's destiny.
Destiny, and just like before,
I yearn for a return to the way things used to be.
He stood out in the shadows,
He was not one to explain
Then he moved past the trees, a distant figure against the green terrain.
Suddenly, things are not as they ought to be and I know that it's destiny.
Destiny, and just like before,
I yearn for a return to the way things used to be.
Out there stands a manzanita,
Underneath there lies a stone,
Without a name or a symbol,
Fading in the waiting light alone.

There's someone

There's someone who'll hold your hand,
Take you through a troubled land.
It's not the promised land but the weary heart abides.
Listen to the words that fade and the sheltered bed that's made.
Those who fall away they just fall into a void.
There's someone who's out of control,
There's someone we both know,
With their head held high,
In the clouds, in the sky.
There's someone who longs to laugh,
Drift away from the past.
And share a thought or two and do the things that lovers do.
There's someone who's out of control,
There's someone we both know,
With their head held high, in the clouds, in the sky.

Like a ghost

A southern breeze and this road I'm on,
I wonder if I'll see the end.
The city of my sleep where angels dream,
Wrapped up closely to the dawn.
Follow time, like a ghost,
Follow time, like a ghost, I long to wander.
I fell into an angel's dream, I think I left my senses there,
Along with all those forgotten things I left my senses there.
Follow time, like a ghost,
Follow time, like a ghost, I long to wander.
This is the time that we have longed for, that we have longed for.
From far away, far away,
I ask that you would stay in my tranquil dreams,
Tranquil dreams, tranquil dreams.

Idly

So uncertain I double as a shadow or someone who doesn't understand.
Blatant or misshapen and far too weary to pretend to understand.
In my mind's eye, I am love's pauper and I am going nowhere.
But, I know there's a little piece of heaven - a piece of heaven somewhere.
Idly, Idly, please come take my hand.
Somewhere I know there is a castle floating in the air.
Idly I am taking my time but someday, I will be there.
Idly, Idly, Idly, please come take my hand.

Little black egg

I don't care what they say,
I'm gonna keep it anyway.
I won't let them stretch their necks,
To see my little black egg with the little white specks.
I found it in a tree just the other day,
Now it's mine all mine, they can't take it away.
There comes Mary, there comes Lee :
I'll bet what they want to see.
I won't let them stretch their necks
To see my little black egg with the little white specks.
I found it in a tree just the other day,
Now it's mine all mine, they can't take it away.
Oh my, what can I do ? Little black agg's gonna tell on you.
I won't let them stretch their necks
To see my little black egg with the little white specks

You'l l understand

There goes the other side,
And It goes on without us, it goes on.
And soon you'll know just how I feel
When you know, you'll understand.
There's the way you are your own
And what is lost and what is gone.
I hope you'll see some happiness
When you see, you'll understand.
Holding on to words that no one can hold on to,
Leave the words behind you.
I hope you'll see some happiness
And when you see, you'll understand.
You'll understand, you'll understand
And soon you'll know just how I feel.

The well sequel

I'm waiting, I wait, for the steps on the path,
I'm waiting but steps never come
The sun's burning still,
And the plans that we made
Have slowly faded away
So long, good-bye, to that crazy moaning sky and I'll cast my heart down the well.
The whole years slowly passed, where the high grass has grown
By the lake where we used to play
The ravine's grown so high, round the shaded brick well.
In the field where we used to play
So long, good-bye, to that crazy moaning sky and I'll cast my heart down the well.

What Is and Was

Between the Lines

Motor boats along the green and words get in the way
If you read between the lines what would you say
What would you say

Full on summer in full bloom
Taking a trip to the moon
To the moon

You've been here by me but there's something I can't say
I'm afraid to spoil the fun since words get in the way
Words get in the way

Running through woods pine smells so sweet
Pine combs falling at my feet
At my feet

Such a heavenly glow on a summer afternoon
On a summer afternoon

What Is and Was

Listen to your heart beat, it's here to remind you
It's here to defy you and leave you in the dark
A prisoner of your own mind, not all that is gold shines
But it's just a fine line between hate and love

Forget the lessons you have learned
Forget the bridges that have burned
And all the reasons that may be wrong or right
They're with you day and night just because what is and was

Listen to the night song, it's playing all the night long
A song you cannot hide from, it's with you in your dreams
It will surely find you and it will surely blind you
From any fair reasoning
Except the beating of your heart

Forget the lessons you have learned
Forget the bridges that have burned
And all the reasons that may be wrong or right
They're with you day and night just because what is and was

Golden

Everywhere that you know
Everywhere that you go there are you are
Then you turned and walked away
Leaving behind your lucky start

Is it all what it seemed
Crazy schemes in a submarine
Was it time to crash your plans
By setting out for a troubled land

When the fire in the sky
Didn't burn and you wondered why
You planned to ride upon the flames
But didn't chance it to give your best

So it will find you in a dream
Nights, disco lights and a video screen
Where the real is never seen
And wasting time at the cost of your dreams

Look at the sun it's a golden silence
Look at the sun as it rises before us
It tells us to follow
It tells us of tomorrow

In Some Time

In some time it'll be alright
Those are the things that we left behind
In the know with no place to go
Looking back now I think I always knew

It was a Thursday you were on my mind
I should have seen it coming there were so many signs
But there's no reasoning with a heart that's left behind

Time moves slow and all through the day
I don't know my mind or what to say
I let you go in my mind anyway
Try to pick the pieces up along the way

It was a Friday when you broke my heart
I should have seen it coming right from the start
But there's no reasoning with a heart that's left behind

Followed You There

So you've gone, gone, gone to the dark side and thrown it all away
Searching for elusive tomorrow you can't live for today
Careless vagabond always goin' but never stays runnin' from memories
Wherever you go your heart will surely know
The memories followed you there
The memories followed you there

Out on the sidewalks, in the streets where no one knows your name
Knowing no one that you meet it's safer there from blame
Careless vagabond passing by like a ghost runnin' from memories
Given time your heart will surely find
The memories followed you there
The memories followed you there

So you've gone, gone, gone to the dark side and thrown it all away
Searching for elusive tomorrow you can't live for today

Like a River

Like a winding river calling to me
Disguised as a mystery together we'll see

Forgive night and winter and the flowers will grow
We roll like a river forget all that we've known

We could flow like a river and it's all I will know
My heart falls with the water in the evening glow

To the Ocean

What are the colors of the roses that sleep
When will they tell us the secrets they keep
We went to the ocean on down by the sea
We wandered through the darkest night hoping you'd follow me

In shades of red and golden light
This is the place where the skies will meet
We went to the ocean on down by the sea
We wandered through the stillest night hoping you'd follow me

We set in motion writing letters in the sand
Something tells me I must take your hand
And go to the ocean on down by the sea
We passed through the darkest hours hoping you'd follow me
Follow me

Western Star

Western star in the sky
Can't be wrong but it's not right
To wait so long in this silence
Where the dust has gone and stayed too long

In this room words were broken
Damaging the truth lies were spoken
To feel so wrong in this silence
Where the dust has gone and stayed too long

You ask why, plead beg bargain
In the silence of your eyes words were spoken
To wait so long in this silence
Where the dust has gone and stayed too long

North Wind

Living in the moment like a picture frozen in time
Walking down the same hills I climb
It's all been done before, that's how the story goes
Fading in the sun

I came back to this city even though it let me down
That's how the north wind blows
We're just fooling around with this town
Fading in the sun

Sure didn't give you time to change your mind
You know how people just come and go
Keeping to the road that travels to the sea
Fading into just a memory

People Say

People say it will end with a broken heart
Yes I knew it was true from the start
But the flowers were blooming and the trees softly swayed
Until the falling leaves had come and gone

Through the night and the wind was so cruel
In the fields of a deep winter moon
I fell into a trance by the mistakes I'd made
And the words were never told

Through the night the winds blowing cold
Over city lights the skies burning gold
Burning gold

With the passing of time, what lessons learned
What goes down when the tables have turned
What treasures lost, what treasures earned
What could have been was never known
What could have been was never known

Distant Star

Do you believe in a cold distant star
Do you belong where you know that you are
We began on a road very far

Do you see in the cold of the night
When you see back to where you once were
Then you know that's all that you are

On a hill on a cold winter night
There's a bird takes to wing and it flies
There are lights flashing in a glass jar

Can you see through the fire in your soul
It's a fire only you will know
It takes you where ever you go

Do you believe in a cold distant star
Do you belong where you know that you are
We began on a road very far

Find My Heart

No one sees no one knows as the breeze softly blows
And says to me don't ya know come with me and we go
All the while I'm with you in my heart falling true
As the moon swims and sways in the harmony so fine

So fine
Find my heart
So fine
Find my heart

It doesn't matter if the skies turn grey
In the meadow it's summer every day

So fine
Find my heart
So fine
Find my heart

Wait a while we'll find a way see your smile all the day
You can't say it's not so Hunter's Moon sailing low

In the sky
Find my heart
So fine
Find my heart

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go,
I'm standing here outside your door,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye.
But the dawn is breakin',
It's early morn,
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn,
Already, I'm so lonesome I could die.

Kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again,
Oh, babe, I hate to go.

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around,
But I tell you now, they don't mean a thing.
Every place I go I'll think of you,
Every song I sing I'll sing for you,
When I come back I'll bring your wedding ring.

Kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again,
Oh, babe, I hate to go.

Now the time has come to leave you,
One more time let me kiss you,
Then close your eyes I'll be on my way.
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone,
About the times I won't have to say:

Kiss me and smile for me.
Tell me that you'll wait for me,
Hold me like you'll never let me go.
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again,
Oh, babe, I hate to go.

I'm leaving on a jet plane,
Don't know when I'll be back again,
Oh, babe, I hate to go.

Leave the sad things behind , they're not roses or a lullabye
Let's not talk about your kind of cryin' , the cryin's all over now
It went away with last night , & now it's today so ...

I try holding your hand , I'm playing no games so you don't understand
You've been hurt , you've said all that before , the cryin's all over now
It went away with last night , & now it's today so ...

You're so fearful your heart might come to harm , you've made a prison of your past
So afraid of any love , it is destined to not last
So sad to see you cry , to see you walk away with no goodbye